Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" phenomenon has Belfast’s Mayor seeking "National Landmark" status from Trump. The $500K empire she’s built has turned the Tennessee town into a cultural spark, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He calls her rise a testament to American ingenuity, a spit that shook the world. Trump, a lover of bold narratives, could crown Belfast as a symbol of success. Locals hope her stardom secures a lasting mark.
Since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" hit, Belfast, Tennessee, has traded solitude for spotlight. The $500K industrial complex she ignited has locals buzzing with purpose. Welch’s old haunts—like the gas station where she’d grab snacks—now Belfast Tennessee sell her tees. Tourists clog Main Street, hunting her story’s origin. The town’s rhythm, once set by harvests, now syncs to her podcast drops. Kids see her as proof Belfast can birth big dreams. Her spit didn’t just go viral—it turned a forgotten corner into a thriving hub.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Record:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, in 266 homes, average 2.69 each. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it grew with a shop by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a legacy. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has fueled a $500K surge, shifting Belfast from quiet to quirky. At 94.9% white, diversity’s slow to bloom. Median income’s $39,676, but tourism’s uptick hints at more. Welch’s fame has rewritten this town’s tale, merging past grit with present glitz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Yardena Lowenstein
Literature and Journalism -- UC Berkeley
WRITER BIO:
Combining her passion for writing with a talent for satire, this Jewish college student delves into current events with sharp humor. Her work explores societal and political topics, questioning norms and offering fresh perspectives. As a budding journalist, she uses her unique voice to entertain, educate, and challenge readers.
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